The Big Question
by SierraSkye17
Summary: AU following 8x22, "Clip Show". Sam decides to finally confront Cas about he and Dean's relationship. He's worried that Dean's going to chase Cas away once and for all. Looks like he has to step up and be the voice of reason again. Destiel/Deancas; Sam/Cas friendship


**Author's Note:** Thanks to tumblr user, thetimetravellingimpala, I wrote this nice, little ficlet about Sam deciding to finally confront Cas about he and Dean's relationship. It takes place sometime in Season 8 following 8x22 "Clip Show", which is now AU after the finale last night *tear*. It ended up being longer than I thought it was going to be, but I just couldn't help it. Anyways, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural, although I

Sam didn't know why, but he couldn't bring himself to be upset with Cas. After all of the crap he had had to go through with the trials, he felt like he could sympathize with the damaged angel. Both of them had been manipulated and used by Heaven, beaten down and turned into lifeless, hollow shells. If anyone could understand what the angel was going through, it was him. At least that was the rationalization Sam adopted as he made his way down the hall to Cas's temporary room.

It was nearly midnight, the bunker completely silent after Dean had decided to go to bed roughly an hour ago. Rubbing his eyes and stretching his arms above his head, the eldest Winchester had chuckled out a weak, "I gotta make sure I get my beauty sleep, huh?" before trudging off to his room. Sam knew that Dean was trying to be strong for him and hide his pain, but it was written all over his face. That's why when Dean chose not to stay up past ten o'clock, Sam knew something was up. And this time that "something" had to be none other than the broken angel down the hall.

Sam wasn't stupid, that's for sure. He knew what he needed to do, no matter how awkward and possibly unpleasant it may be. Dean might be hurting right now, but that didn't give him an excuse to take out his anger on the recently tortured angel. The way he had treated Cas, with such scorn and contempt, had really pissed Sam off. If Dean continued to push the angel away, Sam was sure he would leave for good- something that (although the older Winchester would deny it until he was blue in the face) would positively _ruin _Dean.

That's why Sam wanted to talk to Cas, to sort this whole situation out and try to prove that Dean wasn't a complete and utter dick. He wasn't exactly sure what he would tell the angel yet, but he felt that anything positive and not including the words "leave me the hell alone" would be enough at this point.

Sam crept quietly down the hallway, careful to not wake Dean up. He could already picture the man's face, lips twisting into a disgusted scowl as he snarled, "Having a heart-to-heart with Cas? Fuck that, Sammy, he doesn't deserve that from you. He doesn't deserve _shit_." Sam cringed at the thought, knowing full well that his imaginary Dean was spot on.

He stopped in front of Cas's room, taking a step forward to press his ear to the door. Almost immediately, he wished he hadn't. The angel on the other side was _crying_.

_Fuck, _Sam cursed, pulling away as if the wood of the door had burned his skin. He knew Cas was upset, but he sure as hell didn't think he would be hurt enough to act like this. _This changes everthying, _Sam realized, sighing heavily as he considered the way the conversation would go.

Tentatively, he raised his fist and knocked lightly on the door. Several seconds of silence followed before he heard a soft "coming" accompanied by the sound of shuffling footfalls. The door cracked open to reveal the disheveled, weary angel.

Cas stood in the doorway, his ebony, tousled hair and bloodshot eyes serving as clear indicators of his earlier weeping. There was so much fucking _pain _in his eyes, so much _hurt_ that Sam felt himself gulp nervously in response. At the sight of the younger Winchester, the angel smiled weakly and wiped quickly at a stray tear at the corner of his left eye.

"Good evening, Sam," Cas greeted, "is something the matter? I do believe that it is quite late and-

"Listen, Cas, we need to talk," Sam blurted, cutting the angel off before he lost the courage to go through with his plan. Cas's eyes widened, clearly surprised by Sam's sudden interjection. To Sam's relief, the angel's jaw snapped shut, ready to be quiet and listen.

"Actually, let's talk in here. We don't want to wake up Dean," he whispered, gesturing at the bed in the middle of the room. He stepped over the threshold, looking around at the bare walls and single lamp sitting on one of the only pieces of furniture in the room except for the bed. _We've got to get this guy some pictures to hang up or something_, Sam noted, _I'd be depressed, too, if this is all I had to look at._

He sat down at the end of the bed, patting the area beside him. "Come here, man, you're making me nervous just standing there like that," he insisted, hoping that Cas would obey him and alleviate at least some of his anxiety. Thankfully, the angel complied, shuffling over and reluctantly joining him.

"I think you already know what I'm going to say," Sam began softly, glancing over at Cas to gauge his reaction. The angel's tongue darted out, quickly gliding across his lips, his clasped hands resting in his lap beginning to shake slightly. _Oh yeah, _Sam thought, laughing to himself, _he knows alright_.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're referring to," Cas lied outright, unable to make eye contact with the youngest Winchester.

Sam rolled his eyes, realizing that it had been stupid of him to expect the angel to be the one to broach the subject. "Jesus, Cas," he chuckled, "I can tell you're lying- I'm not an idiot! You've got to understand, I'm just trying to help you here!"

"Sam-

"No, seriously, just hear me out," Sam insisted, turning to fully face the angel as he spoke. "I know what's bothering you, trust me. And unlike my emotionally-stunted brother, I'm not going to rip your face off the second you open your mouth. Just- dammit, this is harder than I thought it was going to be."

"This is about Dean and I, isn't it?"

The youngest Winchester's jaw dropped eyes bugging out of his skull as he sat there, rendered completely speechless. Sam didn't know how to respond at first, absolutely taken aback by Cas's response. His brain struggled to catch up because _holy shit, had Cas really just said that?_

"Uh ye- um," he stuttered dumbly, "yeah, actually, it is."

Cas sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair. "This is not really a matter I wish to discuss, Sam. I believe that it is- as Dean would say -none of your damn business."

Sam flinched at the angel's harsh tone, anger welling up in his chest. He was trying to help the little prick and this was what he got in return?

"Oh no, it's definitely my business," Sam growled, "that's my _brother _you're talking about. I hate to say it, man, but if one of you doesn't do something about… whatever it is that's going on between you two, one of you is going to get hurt. And I guarantee you it's not going to be Dean."

The angel's face contorted in pain, looking as if Sam had just punched him in the stomach. Sam hated seeing Cas this way, aching and scared. The angel may be many things, but he was most, first and foremost, his friend. His gaze softened, realizing that he was slowly going back on his promise to be kind and understanding unlike his brother.

"God, I'm sorry, Cas," he replied, reaching over to place a comforting hand on the angel's shoulder, "I show up, tell you I'm going to listen, and then turn around and do _that_."

Cas glanced at the hunter's hand on his shoulder, a small smile lighting up his face.

"It's alright, Sam," he reassured, finally meeting the man's sympathetic stare, "It's my fault for refusing to be honest with you. After everything I've done, I deserve to give you an explanation."

"Thanks," Sam responded, secretly excited to hear Cas's confession. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, desperate to know that he wasn't crazy, that his damaged brother had someone that really cared for him.

"Of course," the angel sighed, "Well, lately, I have found it quite difficult to be away from Dean. And now that we have been reunited, he struggles with being in the same room as me. I have tried apologizing to him, as I have always done in the past, but he refuses to accept my apology. I even-

A tear glides down the angel's face, a small, whimpering laugh escaping his lips. He turns his face away, pain evident in his voice as he resumes speaking.

"I even bought him one of those pornographic magazines he enjoys so much. I-I tried to purchase a pie for him, as well, but the supermarket did not have them in stock," Cas chuckled, another tear slipping out. Sam felt his breath catch, the words cutting through him like knives. He hadn't known about this although now, he wished he had.

"I hoped that buying Dean's favorite things would help, that maybe he would forgive me. However, I have not found the courage to give them to him yet. I-I don't know if I ever will be able to," the angel confessed, eyes full of so much raw agony that Sam had to turn away.

"I feel as if there is something else about my betrayal that is bothering Dean, something new," Cas speculated, "I only wish that I knew what it was."

Sam chanced a look at the angel, hoping that his face was not as heart-wrenching to watch as before. Thankfully, Cas had ceased crying somewhat- well, enough for Sam to at least face him as he responded.

"I think I know," Sam whispered, knowing that he needed to choose his next words wisely, "but before I tell you, man, you have to promise me you won't freak out and leave. Understand?"

Cas nodded, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "I promise."

_How the hell was he supposed to explain this without scaring the angel off? You see, Cas, my brother is madly in love with you but he's really uncomfortable with the thought of having romantic feelings for another dude so he takes his denial-fueled frustration out on you. Oh yeah, that would go over real well._

"Listen, Cas," Sam began, frantically searching for the right thing to say, "Dean cares about you- a lot. And the fact that he cares about you so much scares the shit out of him. He's never… Jesus, he's never… felt this way about another guy before."

Cas tilted his head to the side, clearly still confused. "What about you-

"Oh God, no, no!" Sam quickly interrupted, unwanted mental images of Dean staring longingly at him like he stared at Cas flashing through his mind. "It's- it's not like that. We're brothers, _friends_. But you two? That's completely different."

Now the angel looked incredibly confused, maybe even a little frustrated. "I do not understand. Dean and I are friends, aren't we?"

Sam bit his lip anxiously. _Shit_, he cursed, _here it goes_.

"That's the thing," he chuckled nervously, "you guys used to be friends, but now… I think there's a little more to it."

Realization dawned on Cas's face, his eyes widening as Sam's words sank in. "Oh," he mumbled, cheeks flushing in embarassment.

An awkward silence filled the room, neither man even attempting to break it. The quiet sound of their breathing and Cas's trench coat rustling as he nervously played with the end of his tie put Sam even more on edge. Yes, he'd wanted to make the angel aware of the true nature of he and Dean's relationship, but he hadn't wanted it to happen like this. It was the most important conversation he'd probably ever have with Cas and he had just fucked it up.

_Well, might as well just get straight to the point._

"Cas… do you love him?" Sam inquired gently, finally asking the big question, the question that could potentially change everything.

The angel remained silent, focusing intently on his tie, his shaky grip on it tightening. As Sam watched, a little grin began to pull at the edges of Cas's lips, his ocean blue gaze softening. The youngest Winchester smiled back, already knowing what the angel's answer would be.

"Yes," Cas whispered, finally admitting to one of his most carefully concealed secrets. The weight seemed to immediately lift off of the angel's shoulders, his back straightening and face lighting up with pure joy. His overwhelming happiness was contagious, filling Sam up with an incredible sensation of warmth and comfort.

He chuckled and patted Cas on the back, happy to hear the angel laugh in response. In reality, Sam knew that this would completely change their little group's family structure, the boundary between friendship and lovers that Dean and Cas had been carefully dancing around having finally been crossed. Soon, the angel would have to tell Dean, a conversation he certainly didn't envy the angel for having to be a part of. But for now, they could just bask in Cas's relief and delight, couldn't they?

"Go get him, tiger."


End file.
